26

To wilder the habits led by the insecurities from the past that no longer inform the you you are now to reach all of the you’s you’d like to discover. The human experience by nature isn’t necessarily unique. Contrasting, each human experience is extremely unique to the sole proprietor experiencing said account. We all have unrepeatable timetables. If we pushed the numbers forward or back on any one human’s clock not a single one would look the same. Something that both sends chills down my spine and has me wanting to know as many stories as I can. Some sheltered from certain experiences, as safe as can be. While others painstakingly thrown in to the unfiltered world. We experience life differently, in different bodies, affected directly by how those bodies present to the world, wildly out of our control. The intentions of our actions are created in the minds of those who do not necessarily know, based off of a schema of experiences that that particular individual holds, again no control. Recently I’ve decided that is the exact reason why we all say, “whats for you will stay,” because those that understand you will not create another version of you, its unconditional. For me it rings true to move with intentions and question those often, care deeply about people and stay open to what life may hand you good or bad and learn from it. Something I've been working with most this year is dancing in what feels lot to me like flames. I think this may be because my life has a way of taking me beautiful places (or my curiosity and love for life makes choices) that may make my world feel out of control or change the way I view the world and my place there in (for instance, really getting to know so many people from so many places and leaving them, doing aerial work, falling from a trapeze on bungees, cliff jumping in Bermuda, emotional trustfully, performing in the middle the ocean, going in for every understudy track, spending hours nose deep a book with a scone, getting stuck in a rainstorm in Bermuda and having to run home, all the way navigating New York again post pandemic/post ship, the list goes on). We experience the same event differently based off of our own life story and that baggage we carry day to day, and whether or not we decide to set that baggage down in any given moment in order to open ourselves up to that moment. Life is made of moments and we hold the power to grow and expand our visions of the world and ourselves in this world in every, single, moment that we experience. We experience life differently in different cultures. We celebrate differently. We value differently.  But as it unfolds it comes down to the fact that we are all human, standing on the same ground figuring out the cards we are dealt, sometimes thrown, always shuffled. Therefore, no one human is alone in their experience, although going through (your twenties especially) it feels like no one understands and you have to figure it out alone. This is true, in your life only you can take the leap to find what your soul craves. Only you have the patience to go out on a limb and find what speaks to your soul and align yourself with people and places that do that. Separating yourself from what others want for you, from the path society has you to believe you must be on to be where you’re “supposed to be,” but allowing yourself to experience and find where you’re meant to be. It's not easy and most have the struggle of finding the means to do so or the guts. So far for me about to turn 27, it seems as I’ve had to search and find, search and fall, search and expand again and again. This to me is the marker of a rich life. Not led by my own fears and hubris but with a curiosity for the world and where it can lead me and how I can grow. I’m not saying i’m not scared, I am always scared. Fear keeps you safe but I have started to push past it and trust. I still worry and second guess often but we’re HUMAN and working on it. I’ll leave this year with these pertinent questions, and proud of my answers; What do you stand for, and what are you willing to do or not do to find out?